To cheat is a sign of deep character flaw
I met a lady some time ago who was dating three guys at the same time and when I asked why, she said to me, “one is very rich and very generous to me but, he is not good in bed and cannot speak fluently, the other one is great in bed, can speak well, is rich but very stingy, the third one is so caring, loving, knows my love language, in fact, I am sure that I love him the most, but no kobo in his pocket”. I shook my head. A married man said that his wife was his everything but she nagged a lot, so he has a “side chic” who gives him “peace outside.” Really?
I also know a guy who was dating two women, and his excuse was that, one was a wife material to the core but didn’t have the classy taste that drove him crazy but the other was everything he dreamed about in terms of class, but was too wild and could not be trusted. Another lady also said, she didn’t want to put “all her eggs in one basket” so, she was dating two guys just to have a backup plan, just in case one of them broke her heart. Lol.
Well, my summation on this is simple; Cheating is more of a character flaw, born out of deep, unaddressed emotional issues that lead to what I call the “have it all” syndrome.
Some of these emotional issues include; being from a dysfunctional home, being molested at a tender age (at least 90% of men were molested by housemaids or big aunties, some ladies were either raped or molested by uncles, step fathers, big cousin brothers etc), being heartbroken or dumped by first love, having a battered self esteem that alters the knowledge of who you truly are and what you truly want, etc.
These emotional problems when not properly dealt with, creates a hole in the heart, causing mostly the discontentment/greed character flaw.
How can one fix this?
First, address the emotional issue. Be honest with your answer. Why is cheating the option for you? Does it have something to do with your past experience? You can walk yourself through the healing process or get professional help, but by all means, get your healing.
Also, read LOVE ZONE: “I am afraid of getting married”
Next thing is to come to terms with reality. Nobody is perfect, hence it is impossible to ”have it all “in one person. So, make a list of what truly matters to you. Make an informed “choosing” decision with it. Stick to your decision. Be content with who you have chosen to be with. Be willing to accommodate the person, concentrate on building something beautiful with your partner by loving genuinely, respecting and regarding him/her.
Your partner is not a business plan. If you have chosen to be with him/her, then be in the relationship. Stop the whole back up plan or Plan B. Issues must come up, and when they do, don’t run away or look for an “easy way out”. The first step to resolving a problem is to “communicate”. Be mature about it. Talk with your spouse and be willing to adjust where necessary.
Most importantly, should you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. Nobody is to blame but yourself.
Read more on how to prevent cheating here.
If we must have a better nation, we must rebuild a solid family system.
Let’s play our part, one step at a time, by adjusting our lives positively and becoming better people.
God bless us all