Marriage is a means to an end
One major reason some marriages don’t last is because, some people get married, seeing the union as an end in itself, rather than a means to an end.
So they get in with high expectations, but of course, are disappointed, because their mindset about marriage was wrong in the first place, then comes the feeling of emptiness and resultantly anger.
For instance, a lady may get married to a very rich man, believing she will never lack again because her husband would cater for all her needs and believing this will guarantee her overall happiness. Actually, she may never lack again but this will certainly not give her overall happiness, because other things come to play.
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Supposing the man never gives her attention or always cheats on her? Also, a guy could get married to the most beautiful and sophisticated lady, believing he will always be happy with his dream woman, but may become really disappointed if she starts portraying some serious character flaws like, disrespecting him consistently.
Marriage cannot give you satisfaction in parts. The whole package comes together to give an overall throughput.
If we take away every other thing in marriage and it’s just you and your spouse, would it still be fun ? This is why it is important to choose carefully/right.
As an individual, you must have a purpose, live for it, then allow everything you do evolve around it, especially marriage. Don’t get married expecting the union to solve all your problems. Be the problem solver.
The big challenge is, a lot of us have thrown value to the wind. We have placed the external features higher than something that is concrete and definite (the internal).
There is more to life than the outward and the temporary things that get us excited (money, fun, sex etc). Love yourself enough to make yourself valuable, develop character, have purpose , set standards, adjust where necessary and don’t stop improving yourself.
Then choose someone who also has a purpose, who understands your own purpose and is ultimately willing to walk/work with you all the way.
Read more Why you may want to delay sex until marriage happens
If both the man and the woman in the relationship have these, they become a strong team and no force can break them.
They definitely would have challenges (every marriage does) but what they both bring to the table is so solid, that they find a way to resolve issues, rather than end the marriage.
Imagine a society where every home is filled with solid individuals.
We say we need a better nation right? Then let’s play our part one step at a time
God bless us all
