Marriage hardly changes anyone
Chika was in love with Dapo or so she thought. She could not sleep without hearing his voice or move without reassuring him of her love for him.
Dapo loved her also but he also loved other ladies. Chika could not stand this at all. She kept fighting every lady that came around him, threatening to kill them and all.
It was quite exhausting, but she kept telling herself once they got married, Dapo would become faithful.
Dapo finally married her. That was mission accomplished right? Except that years down the lane, she seems very unhappy because Dapo is worse than he used to be with the ladies when he was single.
When she complained, he told her “you wanted marriage and I gave it to you. What more do you want from me”? She was shocked. Is this who she had spent her entire time fighting for?
Truth is, it is good to sometimes fight for love, but we need to realize that marriage WILL NOT change a person’s attitude. The marriage institution is not a correctional facility; hence it is always better to KNOW what it is you are fighting for.
For instance, when you meet someone, what do you look out for? Ideals or the outward? Is money more important to you than character? is beauty more important than respect? How committed is your partner to the relationship? Are you just interested in the mushy feeling? Is sex more important than love? Whatever you decide is what will continue in marriage because marriage actually enhances what people have on the inside since no one can pretend forever.
This is why we hear things like “he was never like this while we were dating”, “she changed and became something else”. The truth is that nobody changes over night. The signs will always be there, but you may miss it if you are not paying close attention or if you are carried away with other unimportant things.
For instance, if you are carried away with the “great sex”, you may miss that your partner doesn’t have respect for you.
Always watch out for ideals!!! And do not stay in a relationship longer than you should because you are considering the time, emotional and financial investments you have put in. The number of years spent in a wrong direction will NEVER validate it
Also, being single is not a death sentence except you are idle. Get busy. We were made for more. Find what it is that you can do to add value to the society and start adding value. Stop allowing pressures move you to a wrong lane.
Broken homes are causing more damage to society that we can ever imagine. Let’s get it right from the start and model truth in our homes. The future of our nation depends on this.
If we say that we need a better nation, then let’s play our part, one step at a time.