LOVE ZONE: Why you may want to delay sex until marriage happens

Sex before marriage can muddle up the true state of things

Delayed gratification is a concept we must imbibe in our relationships if we must have solid marriages. The concept simply means, resisting the temptation of an immediate reward in preference for a later reward.

The inability to delay gratification (sex before marriage) shows a fundamental problem of either lack of self-discipline or self control.

Every solid marriage has two major components, “trust & respect”. To earn both of them you need self-discipline/self control.

If you are dating someone and the end result of that relationship is supposed to be marriage, why are you in a hurry to have sex? Won’t you have enough of it in your marriage? We hear excuses like “I need to test the package so I can be sure if it has what I want” and the question is, supposing you test and you don’t exactly like the package, what happens?

Also, read LOVE ZONE: This is why people cheat

Secondly, sex before marriage muddles up the real picture. This is one of the reasons why people have made mistakes in choosing life partners. The dating period is supposed to be, when the two people who want to get married come together to know each other, understand their strengths and weaknesses and evaluate truthfully if they are ready to be together for the rest of their lives. This is the period to pay attention to details. (Both actions and words) but the moment sex comes in, everything changes. It relegates common sense and exalts mushy feelings.

For instance, if a lady is dating a guy who can’t seem to control his temper, but is good in bed, he may one day hit her in anger, apologize and use great sex to seal the apology. Then years or even months after they get married, we start hearing ‘domestic violence”. The sign was there from the beginning, but was not given any attention because the “sex” was great or made you feel wanted.

Being in a relationship is real work. If we spend more time sharpening the axe, we would spend less in cutting down the tree.

Lay your foundation properly, build friendship, effective communication, be involved in your relationship, correct in love, be willing to forgive, be willing to accept the whole package, be honest with your feelings, pray, go out, read books, see movies, watch sports, have fun together, etc.

Read more LOVE ZONE: “I am afraid of getting married”

It is difficult to hurt someone you consider a friend.

Good sex will not automatically produce good marriage even though it’s a vital part as well. Hence, to build your relationship strictly around mushy feelings is to build on a shaky foundation.

If our nation would be a better place, the family system must be solidified. Let’s build right as the much needed change we seek definitely begins with us

God bless us all