It is natural to be scared of getting married
I was going through my inbox and saw a message from one of my readers.
“Maxy, I am afraid of getting married. Every married person I know is either unhappy or cheating on their spouse and it makes me wonder why I should even bother. I have decided to just have a baby mama. No strings attached and everyone is happy”
Love Zone Reader
I read this and smiled.
It is very normal to feel scared especially when we look around and see people we initially felt were happy in their homes, break up. I mean, I was scared when one of my elderly friends, dissolved her marriage after twenty eight years, but the truth is, “nobody should be your standard in marriage”.
There are homes with good qualities that you can emulate (and you should) but every home have their own peculiar problems and challenges, and if you make any your standard, you would definitely be scared when turbulent times come.
Secondly, before you base your life decision on another person’s experience, you need to know the full details/root cause of the issue and since you may never get the complete story, it’s always better/safer to keep an objective mindset.
Also, read LOVE ZONE: Good people can have bad marriages
Thirdly, the fact that someone’s marriage or even your parents marriage failed, does not necessarily mean yours will.
A successful marriage/good home is usually achieved with God at the top and what both partners put into the relationship to make it work.
Like I always emphasize, foundation is key. It is only natural for a house built on a shaky foundation to eventually fall.
So from the very start, know who you are, go for a partner that compliments you, love true values not just physical attributes or status, be willing to accept your partner once your choice is made, and most importantly know that marriage will not change anyone (except the person is willing to change).
In fact, getting married will expose a lot of hidden things, so you have to be double sure you are ready to go all the way, before you say “I do”.
Let’s model the right ideals, so as to strengthen the family system.
Our society will be a better place, when we play our part one step at a time.
Read more on how to overcome the fear of getting married here.
God bless us all
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The current events around marriage do not help. I remember how much fear I felt after my sister’s “divinely ordained” marriage crashed some 5years ago. And given everything that followed the crash, I sort of blanked out the idea of even falling in love, let alone being married. I’ve since grown out of it, but it took a lot of work. I think what people can do is try to understand that nothing good comes easy and that you can only truly enjoy a relationship/marriage if you put in the work to make it a beautiful one. Good relationships don’t fall from the sky. We create it by what we choose to do and how we do them.
@ifunanya thanks a million for the awesome contribution. You are so right!!!