LOVE ZONE: Building a home requires preparedness

Preparing for marriage can guarantee a stable home

One of the reasons some people have failed in their marriages, is unpreparedness. Imagine being told that you are to embark on a very long journey, would you just jump on the road and move? This is a definite no. You will certainly PREPARE for the journey.

First, you will think it through, in order to know/get all that would be required to help you get to your destination smoothly.

This is exactly how we should look at marriage.

However, some people become more in love with the idea of settling down than the journey in itself. This kind of unpreparedness, make them fall off the way at the slightest brick wall they meet.

Let’s understand that being prepared is not just about being old enough, rich enough, having a great job, being in the circle of married friends and all the many reasons we believe make us liable to get married. These are good considerations but much more is needed.

For instance, money is not all that is required to make a person happy in life, how much more in marriage. However, men especially prepare more for marriage financially leaving other aspects of it.

So we hear them talk about how they give the wife “everything” but how she is not satisfied or how they are working day and night to make the family comfortable. What truly happens here is that, they give the woman different shades of the same thing.

Imagine eating, white rice and stew, fried rice, jollof rice, white rice and sauce, coconut rice through Monday to Friday. This is still rice all the way. Lol.

For women, the man,  is not expected to fund all the bills in the home. Be resourceful and bring something to the table no matter how little. Also be willing and ready to share with your partner. One of the core features of a home is unity. Couples should stand by each other, even financially to ensure the family keeps moving.

Other aspects of being prepared include mental, physical, emotional and spiritual preparedness.

Be prepared mentally; if your journey will be through hills you would need a gun to scare of wild animals from attacking you, right? This is why you must understand what you are getting yourself into before settling down. So you can well equip/develop yourself intellectually. Sometimes the need to make a decision between two great decisions will arise and you will need wisdom to properly evaluate your options. Mental preparedness can also mean, you living for something (purpose) and being ready to support your partner through his or her own purpose.

It also covers being ready to accommodate the new family members (your spouse’s family).

Be prepared physically; whether on the big or slim side develop yourself to be agile. Don’t be lazy because the need for strength increases as you journey progresses.

Remember that naturally the energy you use to start out a journey reduces as you sojourn. Along the way, children will come into the picture and more responsibility be added.

The journey doesn’t get any easier.

Be prepared emotionally; be ready to be a friend, be ready to love regardless, sometimes issues will arise between you and your spouse that will hurt deeply but know this is your home, apply wisdom per issue that comes up. For the guys there will be times that the woman is so tired and she can’t fulfill her room duties, be mature enough to understand and for women this should not be all the time. There must always be a balance to everything we do

Finally, be prepared spiritually; never jump into marriage believing you don’t need God, who else will help you understand a human being, if not the creator Himself?

When we put all these into perspective and settle down, we build strong homes that even when the storm comes (and it will), the house will stand tall and come out stronger.

Spend time in sharpening the axe so that cutting down the tree will be an easy task.

Our nation will be a better place when we all play our parts to build strong family systems

God bless us all