Family pressure on single ladies can lead to toxic relationships
Some years back, I used to know a lady who was so desperate to get married. Personally, I didn’t understand why because she was just 25 years old at the time, but I figured it was most likely for two reasons; her closest friends (three of them) had gotten married already and family and friends were beginning to wonder when hers would happen.
Anyways, she dated this particular guy for two years and had about four abortions for him. Why? The guy told her he would only marry her after she got pregnant for him (according to him, he wanted to be sure she could take in) but, each time she did, he would suddenly say he was not ready for the marriage and she would abort (she didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock) and as soon as she does, he would say he was ready again.
This circle continued until her fourth abortion then he finally told her he was no longer interested and she almost died of heartbreak. (heck I almost fainted on her behalf lol).
First, how can you think of marrying someone who has to test your ability to carry a child before he marries you? What happens if you can’t get pregnant? Wouldn’t he dump you?
Second, she went through four whole rounds of abortion and it still had to take him to dump her before her eyes opened?
Please being single is NOT a death sentence; being married to a wrong partner is.
Yes, we understand what the pressures of society and maybe the family can do to a mature single lady but this is not enough to subject oneself to a toxic relationship. Desperation always makes one miss the real things that matter in a relationship, leading one into a painful marriage (which is far worse than being single)
For instance, I have heard some ladies make crazy excuses for a boyfriend that beats them or constantly oppresses them or belittles them. “He loves me oh. It’s just that when he gets angry he loses control”, “If he didn’t love me, will he kneel, cry, buy me gifts and beg me after beating me?”, “He only wants me to realize his value to me” and the excuses are endless.
A solid relationship is formed only when the internal features (a good character, strong values, respect, love, etc) outweigh the external (handsome, tall, rich, eloquent, sexy, etc).
It is a good thing to desire a life partner but whilst you are still single and waiting for “the one”, work on being productive, add value to the society through what you can do, constantly work on yourself to be better every day, improve on your character, adjust when and where necessary associate more with great minds that can push you to want to achieve more, etc. You will find out that you will be too busy to think about your single status or to give ears to what the society/your family is saying about it, and when the right man comes along, even you will be so refined and ready to be the appropriate woman for him.
Our nation will be a better place when we all play our parts one step at a time, for the change we seek definitely starts with us.
God bless us all