…People can apply behavioural modification to appeal to a love prospect’s emotions
Differentiating between good behaviour and behavioural modification is vital if we must have a happy home, but sadly, in recent times, most people get married based on the latter.
Behavioural modification is sometimes unavoidable especially with people we like/love. We want them to see us in a certain way so we go the extra mile to prove our worthiness to them; by going out of our way to do things to please them. This is not necessarily hypocrisy (it is only natural to want someone you really like to like you in return) but it does not really last for long, hence it is important not to base your love for someone strictly on this.
For instance, a guy who is trying to get a lady’s attention could go out of his way to buy her gifts, visit her, take her to the movies, make her feel like she is the only person that matters in the world, create time for her, etc, and a lady who wants her boyfriend to see her as the best, could cook for him, clean his house, give him money, always wear makeup or skimpy dresses so as to always look beautiful and so on. However, when the relationship starts, these things may stop or may not happen as frequently as they used to. DOING and BEING are too different things.
Marriage/Relationship can only be solid, when done right from the beginning. Just like building a house, foundation is key!
When you meet someone, beyond the mushy feelings, look out for character/values. How does he treat other people? Is he truly kind and caring? Is she vengeful or troublesome? Does he take responsibility for his actions? Can he be trusted? Is she honest? Does he truly see you as his queen? Is she carried away by what she thinks you have, but not who you truly are? Is he willing to improve on himself to become a better person for you? etc.
Know and understand who you are and who you are with. Remember no one is perfect and you are supposed to complement each other. Look beyond the hype, look deep, be watchful, test character, don’t get too emotionally entangled that you don’t use your 6th sense. Evaluate truthfully. Can you cope with all the packages/baggage he/she comes with?
Keeping a home is beyond big mansions, big cars, great sex, physical appearances, eloquence etc… Even though these things are good, they cannot guarantee happiness. True happiness is found in the place of purpose, value and character.
Marriage is serious business and when we become responsible with how we make our choices, we get to solve half the moral decadence issue we are suffering today in our nation.
(It all starts from the home)
We say we need a better nation, then let’s play our part one step at a time because the change we seek starts with us.
God bless us all